Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Call Your Mom

The conversation I imagine would go like this:

Me: So what are you up to today?

Mom: Oh daddy and I just went shopping and I picked up the cutest outfit for Zoe. It has a matching coat with fur trim and it was already marked down a third! Do Ben and Jake need underwear and socks?

Me: Yes, they can always use socks and underwear. I'm sure Zoe will love the outfit. You know she's a clothes horse just like her Nana.

Mom: I was wondering what to take to eat for the Birthday Group Christmas Party. Are you going to any holiday parties?

Me: Oh my knitting group is having a get together at the Dredge and we're having a cookie swap too. I think I'll take a pasta salad. I tried that yummy sugar cookie recipe the one with the pumpkin dip that Tiff sent with the card swap and it was SO good. Do you have that one?

Mom: OOOOhh that sounds good. I don't have that one. Let me get a recipe card and you can give it to me. Maybe I'll take that to the party.

After taking down the recipe

Me: Mom how did you afford to send me to dance lessons and piano lessons? Did Brent and I drive you crazy with our constant arguing? What was I like when I was a little girl? Did I ask you to play with me all the time? Sometimes did you just want to run away and hide? When did you ever take time for yourself, I remember you being up at the crack a dawn. You already had a load of laundry done and breakfast on the table before 7:00 AM. Mom, thank you for giving me such a stable home life, where dinner was on the table every night and I always felt warm, safe and loved.

Mom: You do what you have to do. I did all of those things because I loved you. You and Brent mean the world to me. I just sent you to your room when I needed a break. I wasn't perfect and sometimes I yelled and got mad just like I am sure you do with your kids and then I regretted getting upset with you and I would feel terrible. You are a wonderful mother Stacy and your kids will grow up to be wonderful, caring adults, because they have loving, caring parents.

I wish I could call my mother, but I can't. She passed away almost three years ago and this time of year is always tough because I think about her even more....if that is possible, 'cause I already think about her every day. I don't have any regrets about things I did or didn't do or say. I was there when she passed away. I sat on her bed talked to her, slept in her room, helped her to the restroom, bathed her, and gave her her medication. There is an emptiness left by her passing that nothing can fill. Even my children's tight hugs and kisses can't cure call your mother...just because you can....for no reason at your mom.


Sharon said...

How wonderful that you remember her so fondly.

Eluciq said...

lovely...just lovely!

denise said...

I love that. You have such love and memories.

My father died over the holidays and it is hard ... it has been many years now, but I always think about it all a bit more this time of year.

audra skaggs said...

Stacy, that was wonderful. I remember your mom, and I could hear your voice and still see her face as you told that. Miss seeing you, hope you are well. I laugh when I think how we used to talk on the phone and you were always a sentence behind because of that darn Alaska!!