Friday, January 2, 2009

A New Year

It's official, I can now wish you a happy 2009....I realize that I'm a day late but the toilet wasn't clean. Yesterday, I was busy casting on my Monkey Socks and cursing our fearless Knit-A-Long leader Monica, 'cause I kept dropping stitches and having to frog the whole thing to begin again, not that it was her fault, but you gotta have someone to blame!! I know what you're thinking: what is she talking about....what does having a clean toilet and wishing people a Happy New Year have anything to do with each other. She is L-o-s-i-n-g her mind. She's actually blogging about the john?

Yes, yes, I have plenty of other things I COULD write about like David deciding that now at 40 below it's a good time to tear out the border in my washroom and make a mess everywhere, or the fact that the kids, all on their own, made a Natural History Museum/Zoo/Circus today complete with a bird cage, reptile exhibit, & juggling show. I could also post cool pictures of the frost growing around the edges of the doors and covering the windows with great patterns, but no today you get toilet talk.

I don't know about you, but I usually like to ring in the new year with a little cleaning. Just organize things a bit, tidy up the clutter in the hopes that the following year will be orderly. So I began with a box of blankets that needed to be added to the linen shelf, toys that needed to be donated, and the toilets needed a good scrub. Now it is BEYOND me how so much funk can build up around a toilet. I have three boys, yes I am counting my husband because although he has had 30+ years at aiming into a roughly 12" oval there are times when I am sure he misses, he's just old enough to know that he must WIPE THE RIM. This must be something that comes with age, like appreciating a good glass of wine, 'cause no matter how much I rant about pee on the toilet my other two boys just haven't gotten it yet. I mean how hard can it be to make it down the hole... it's BIG, bend at the knees to get closer if you need to, hell sit down on the damn thing, but GET ALL THE PEE IN THERE. I mean I don't even care if you flush! I feel the worst for my daughter Zoe who shares a bathroom with her two brothers. Poor girl, there will be years of yelling about everything related to the bathroom when they become teenagers, but for now the issue is pee everywhere put IN the toilet. As I was cleaning I was thinking, what in the world are they thinking about when they pee that causes them not to be able to concentrate long enough to shoot a straight stream for what..... 20 seconds....40 at the max. I mean for heavens sake they can listen to me reading for hours, play games(recent RISK games have lasted 7 hours) or watch a video, but NOT long enough to relieve themselves? Are they so excited about their play & they are trying to hurry? Are they daydreaming? There isn't even a picture above the toilet that they could gaze at and oops I missed.... NOTING, nota, just peeing.....I just don't get it. I have even resorted to making THEM clean the bathroom & it doesn't work. So please tell me, promise me they'll grow out of it...... preferably before they learn to enjoy wine....& I would be OH SO HAPPY if it happened THIS YEAR!!! Just tell me.... even if you have to lie, that 2009 will be the year that the PEE gets IN THE TOILET!

Ok, so now I can wish you a Happy New Year, 'cause my universe....the toilet, is shiny clean....for now anyway.


Eluciq said...

fun post...

a post that i can relate to...

and i could lie and say it gets better, but...we have boys' the same age...giggle :)

Here's to a 2009 that has a toilet bowl filled with pee and a dry seat!
{for Zoe's sake}

Chum said...

Stacy I read your posts because it is like cuddling up with a good book on a Sunday morning by the woodstove and a cup of coffee. Your writing is always worth my while!
My suggestion for the boys however and for your sanity, get an outhouse.

Stephanie said...

Yup, yup, and yup.
I like it tidy on Jan 1 - not because I make resolutions, just as a "Begin as you intend (wish) to go on" sort of thing.